As a young, unmarried woman in my twenties, I will admit, I am not the foremost expert on human sexuality. To be frank, it is not high on my list of concerns. I find the conversations that should be private between consenting adults to be awkward in a social setting, but the discussion of sex is everywhere. Turn on the news, and you see all sorts of stories. Human sexuality is a hot-button issue today, on both sides, and the concern seems to be growing.
As Christians, this discussion can be difficult to hear or even begin. We see our brothers and sisters in Christ using our sacred texts to hurt others and to judge them. Leviticus Chapter 18 is thrown around as the be-all and end-all of human sexuality in the Bible. I am sure you have heard at least one of these rules shared in recent years. This chapter has strict rules of when and with whom people can be intimate. Of course, it contains rules and guidelines that those of us in the 21st century would agree with, such as outlawing incest and bestiality, but some of the rules are more challenging, such as discussions on same sex relations or menstrual cycles. If you break these laws, the text says you are an abomination. We have all seen people using the Word of God to hurt and belittle others.
But friends, the Bible does not end after Leviticus 27. In the New Testament, Jesus comes across a woman who broke one of these laws. John 8: 1 – 11 tells the story of the woman caught in adultery. Those gathered around pulled from the same playbook we see today. They say to Jesus, “Now in the law Moses commanded us to stone such women.” Cut and dry, right? The law said it was wrong, and she deserved to die, so they were going to stone her. Jesus responds differently. While they are speaking and sharing these reasons to uphold the human sexuality laws, Jesus begins to play in the dirt, literally. This discussion was not even important enough to hold his attention. Jesus paused his time in the dirt to respond to the accusers with the now famous, “Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Then he returned to the infinitely more important activity in the dirt.
While the accusers dispersed after Jesus’s mic drop, the accusations did not. We still see judgments based on others’ sexuality or assumed sexuality. Today we read news articles that target individuals for their sexuality or even assumed sexuality. Like the accusers in John on a national scale. This language is meant to divide us and calls for us to judge others without knowing them or their circumstances. As Jesus said, “Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone.” I am not sure about you, but I am dropping the stone from my hand. I know that I have sinned, and I have no room to judge others.
Our stance as United Methodists does not call for us to judge others based on our understanding of human sexuality. Instead, we are called to celebrate! Strange, I know, but human sexuality is a gift from God that allows us to connect and care for our partners in a loving and mutually respectful relationship. The Book of Discipline says it best through our Social Principles found in Paragraph 162. C. It states, “We affirm human sexuality as a sacred gift and acknowledge that sexual intimacy contributes to fostering the emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being of individuals and to nurturing healthy sexual relationships that are grounded in love, care, and respect." We can find evidence for this stance throughout The Song of Solomon, where there is rejoicing in the love felt between the two characters. As Song of Solomon 8:6 says, “Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; love is as strong as death. Passion fierce as the grave.”
God intends for humans to be in relation with one another. We are meant to love each other, and for some, this love becomes marriage. I am sure we are all aware that our denomination, the United Methodist Church, had a struggle over this stance recently. While we may still carry the wounds, we can rejoice in the love we see around us. Love is something to be celebrated! Our Book of Discipline describes Christian marriage as "a sacred, lifelong covenant that brings two people of faith, an adult man and woman of consenting age, or two adult persons of consenting age into union with one another" (Paragraph 162.D). Marriage is an outward sign of the commitment two adults have made with one another and with God. It is something to celebrate and honor.
As for us single folks, do not fret. Just because someone is not married does not mean that they are missing out on love. Single people are surrounded by love. The church gives people who do not have a family of their own the opportunity to be a part of the family, the family of God. Remember, the apostle Paul was also single, and he even encouraged singleness. In 1 Corinthians 7:8 he says, “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain unmarried as I am.” He cautions just one thing: self-control. Singleness is not an excuse to do whatever we want.
Our Book of Discipline explains this obligation specifically for people aiming towards ordination, but I believe it is a good reminder for all of God’s children. After all, we are all representatives of God here on earth. Paragraph 304.2 reminds us "to exercise responsible self-control by personal habits conducive to bodily health, mental and emotional maturity, integrity in all personal relationships, social responsibility, faithful sexual intimacy expressed through fidelity, monogamy, commitment, mutual affection and respect, careful and honest communication, mutual consent, and growth in grace and in the knowledge and love of God". In response to God’s love, we ought to take care of ourselves and one another.
Human sexuality is a gift from God, and it should be celebrated as such! As United Methodists, we are called to speak up for those who have been judged or hurt by others. Our Book of Resolutions reminds us, "The United Methodist Church commits to befriending and caring for all persons, [regardless of sexuality] in our churches and communities" (Resolution 3120). We love because Christ first loved us.
